Note: Originally finished on June 19th, 2017

Willing Murderer

By Zac Langridge

I am cold and vicious 

I am dangerous and silent

I hunger for violence and lust for blood

I crave screams and I drench myself in fear 

It’s exhilarating and fun

And it’s how I survive

I kill, steal, and then run 

It’s my life

I was once hesitant and fearful

Now I make others hesitant, and I give out fear

It’s lovely and fun, feeling the anguish of others

It’s my life

It’s risky, but it’s who I am

I love the slick feeling of the knife

The angular shapes of a gun

The pulsing feel of someone’s throat, just waiting to be crushed

People call me a psycho

People want to lock me up

People wish I was different

Which is good

Because they fear me

I am the very definition of violence

I am malicious

Unforgiving

Dangerous without cause, apparently

That’s what they think

Is that really so?

Because, each time I strike

My childhood strikes out with me

They called me emotional

They called me weak

My demons, my “family”, my “friends”

They ripped me apart

They made me feel small

Now they feel small

And I feel tall

They treated me like nothing

The world is a tumble drier of uncaring human beings

So I don’t care when I kill

My young life was like death

And when I look around

I see caring loving people

Who haven’t experienced anything like it

So I feel glee and satisfaction 

When I kill and murder

When I shoot and stab

When I wire and activate

The world treated me like nothing

So why shouldn’t I treat others the same way?

I am a willing murderer

The worst kind there is

The kind who loves revenge and death

The kind who delights in slicing flesh

Understand this

I didn’t have to be this way

The world treated me badly

So I’ll treat it the same

If humans were kinder

I would have turned out better

But it’s too late for any of that now

This is just who I am!